Bob McCue/Quotes and Responses

From FAIRMormon

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Like any subject of controversy, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints attracts its share of antagonists. Some of these antagonists are not content to portray the Church and its doctrines fairly.

Some critics make statements that are self-contradictions—instances in which a critic says or writes one thing, and then makes another statement elsewhere that flatly contradicts their first statement.

These examples do not prove that these critics' arguments are without merit; they do suggest caution is warranted before accepting these authors as reliable witnesses when they speak of their own experiences connected with "Mormonism." One should also be cautious of accepting their account of primary sources without double-checking.

Bob McCue

Robert "Bob" McCue is a lawyer from Calgary, Alberta. A former LDS bishop, McCue has left the Church and now writes large amounts of material about his former faith.

Sadly, McCue is not always straightforward with his readers. On occasion, he changes his claims to suit the needs of the moment. In addition, a comparison between the LDS doctrine which he taught before his apostasy, and LDS doctrine as he describes it after leaving the Church is instructive:

Demands on mothers

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The claim...	The facts (taught pre-apostasy)...
My wife has been depressed in varying degrees and in ill health throughout most of our marriage, largely as a result of the unrealistic demands she, I and LDS culture have placed upon her.	[McCue in 1995] Mom is pulled in a variety of directions. She is first and foremost an individual. In terms of importance, her second most important role is that of a spouse and sweetheart. In my view, in which I am in agreement with the General Authorities and the scriptures, her third role is that of a mother.[p. 5] [McCue in 1995] In my view, the first rule is to acknowledge that "supermom" does not exist. We all have limits as to what we can do and should not feel badly about that. We are taught by the scriptures that we should not try to run faster than we have strength. [pp. 7-8] [McCue in 1995] One of the best things a mother can do for her children is to let them watch her become, grow and achieve. One of the worst things she can do is let them watch her wear herself out. Why would a young girl want to emulate a mother who is beaten up and worn out by her chosen career of full time mom? Heavenly Father does not expect us to wear ourselves out. He expects us to blossom and flourish.[p. 10]
Bob McCue, “Big Picture Analysis of Mormonism—And When Should We Speak Out?” post at www.exmormong.org, 27 Oct 2004 13h48.	Bob McCue, “Some Thoughts On Mother’s Day,” talk given in LDS sacrament meeting Calgary, Alberta, 14 May 1995

Commentary So, pre-apostasy McCue knew that a woman’s individual needs were primary, as taught by both the General Authorities and scripture. There is no doctrine requiring someone to exhaust themselves. He was right then, but apparently needs a refresher course in his anti-Mormon mode regarding LDS doctrine on marriage.

Wear themselves out?

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The claim...	The facts (taught pre-apostasy)...
[My wife's problems were] exacerbated by… her commitment to follow Ezra Daft Benson [sic] and others' injunction not to work outside the home and have babies until her health would not allow her to have any more. This is, in effect, the Mormon requirement - do it 'til you drop.	[McCue in 1995]…us Dads have an important responsibility to help the Moms in our lives flourish and not to let them wear themselves out. This is probably our most important responsibility. …We need to create opportunities for our Moms and spouses to meet their individual physical and spiritual needs… [p. 20]
Bob McCue, “Big Picture Analysis of Mormonism—And When Should We Speak Out?” post at www.exmormong.org, 27 Oct 2004 13h48	Bob McCue, “Some Thoughts On Mother’s Day,” talk given in LDS sacrament meeting Calgary, Alberta, 14 May 1995

Commentary McCue insists that the Church's teaching on childbearing means that she should "do it 'til you drop." But, he clearly taught before leaving the Church that a husbands first duty was to not let the women in their lives "wear themselves out." Why has he changed his story?

Sinners prevent us from loving them?

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The claim...	The facts (taught pre-apostasy)...
I felt justified in concluding, based on my understanding of LDS theology, that she [his daughter who rebelled against LDS standards] was exercising her free will and choosing to leave us, thus preventing me from loving her... McCue goes on to blame the Church for his "dysfunctional" parenting. [p. 119]	[McCue 1995] Furthermore, mothers [and fathers, one presumes] shouldn't be discouraged when their children don't follow their advice. The advice hasn't been wasted…That is not to say, however, that we all need to take responsibility for poor choices our loved ones make. [p. 8, 18]
Bob McCue, "Out of My Faith," 26 May 2003, 118-119.	Bob McCue, “Some Thoughts On Mother’s Day,” talk given in LDS sacrament meeting Calgary, Alberta, 14 May 1995

Commentary McCue understood the principle in 1995—why is he changing his story now, after his apostasy? Was he lying then about how he understood things, or is he lying now? He needs to review teachings on wayward family members.

Attitude toward non-members

the Church "encourages its followers to ignore or depreciate the lives of all non-believers." Only following his apostasy did McCue "accept…that all others were as worthy as I am. So…I held myself aloof from the rest of mankind as a result of my Mormon conceit."	In an interview, McCue opined that Church members are "well-intentioned, intelligent…with high standards of honesty, neighborliness…"
Bob McCue, “The Downside of Mormonism's ‘We Are The Best’ Attitude” post at www.exmormon.org, 24 Oct 2004 10h29.	Bob McCue, cited in David Hedley, “Leaving the fold," Calgary Herald, 30 May 2004: B07.

Commentary Having become an anti-Mormon, McCue tells the press that Mormons have "high standards of...neighborliness," but then claims that the Church taught him to ignore or depreciate the lives of non-members. That doesn't sound very neighborly. Which is it? And, where is the "honesty" which he also admits most members have? McCue should also review teachings on the salvation of non-members.

On non-democratic groups

On Church leaders: "I do not trust and do not cooperate with leaders who are not democratically elected and accountable to those they lead. That applies to religion as well as any other human group."

In reference to the anti-Mormon “Recovery from Mormonism” group, McCue opines that

[m]any of the things the moderators do baffle me, but I am generally supportive of them because of their volunteer status and good will efforts to do something I think is important – provide a ‘safe’ place for people to vent about their Mormon experience…At RFM, all forms of communication that are inconsistent with the [group’s] purpose…are censored. To me, that makes sense in principle...Is RFM defective because of its censorship? In light of its purpose, I would say no.

Bob McCue, “Van Hale’s ‘Mormon Miscellaneous’ Radio Talk Show,” Version 3, 20 Sept 04, 34.

Bob McCue, www.fairboards.org, “RFM, Ha”, post on 08 Oct 04, 10h11 AM.

Commentary McCue says he refuses to cooperate with leaders who aren't accountable—this applies to "any...human group." But, he cooperates fully with the self-appointed moderators of a virulently anti-Mormon message board. They have "good will," according to McCue, and so are worthy of support. McCue doesn't even mind the censorship (any pro-LDS material will be deleted) at RFM. Which is it? Does he insist upon democracy and accountability, or not? Why does the Church get condemned for things he endorses in anti-Church groups?