Question: How do Mormons believe that legislation regarding the definition of marriage may affect families?

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Questions

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How will legislation regarding the definition of marriage effect families?

To see citations to the critical sources for these claims, [[../CriticalSources|click here]]

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TEXT  ^{[needs work]}

Families are central to Heavenly Father's plan of happiness. The Proclamation to the World on the Family states:

HUSBAND AND WIFE have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.

WE WARN that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

WE CALL UPON responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.

This proclamation teaches that children are entitled to be "reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity". This emphasizes the unique values that only a father and a mother bring to child-raising. This is not to say that children who do not have this blessing, either through death, choice of the parents, or some other circumstances, are inferior or that they do not deserve all the support and protection we can give them. Indeed, it says when children do not have this blessing in their lives, other people should lend support when needed. Many children who are raised in single-parent families, raised by same-sex couples, orphaned, have parents who are absent, abusive or otherwise fail to fulfill their duty as parents, continue to grow up to be happy and successful. By underlining the importance of having a father and a mother, we do not intend to in any way bring disparity to people who are lacking a father or a mother.

This proclamation talks about many important characteristics of good parents, such as the responsibilities to "rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live." It would be a mistake to focus on one aspect of this proclamation, and ignore the other parts. Ultimately, love and compassion are more important anyway. In many cases, families that lack both a father and a mother are able to accomplish more with love and compassion than families that have both a father and a mother. It would be a shame to diminish a families worth based on one characteristic.

Some people argue because having a father and a mother is not the most important attribute in a family, that it should not be promoted at all. Multiple aspects can be important. We can have laws that protect children from abuse and laws that promote marriages between a man and woman.

Some people argue that laws promoting marriage between a man and a woman are targeted towards people with same-sex attraction. While they might have the greatest direct impact, many people who struggle with opposite-sex attraction also have problems respect the right of their children to be raised by a father and a mother.

Effect of having a legal distinction for unions between a man and a woman

Legal definitions by themselves do not impose morality nor do they take away rights. They do show a need to make a distinction between two different concepts. They create a separate category, which is inherently unequal. We believe that a union between a man and a woman has a distinct benefit to society that a union between two men or two women cannot bring to society. We believe that by recognizing this value, we can promote environments where God's children will have the greatest likelihood to be raised by a father and mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Elder Oaks explains:

"We believe that we must contend for the kind of mortal families that provide the best conditions for the development and happiness of children—all children...

"There are many political, legal, and social pressures for changes that confuse gender, deemphasize the importance of marriage or change its definition, or homogenize the differences between men and women that are essential to accomplish God’s great plan of happiness.[1]

The legal definition does not impose morality or take away rights, but it does effect how things are discussed in official settings, taught in schools, and ultimately viewed in the public. While people are free to form their families in any way they choose, many are looking for the best way to form their families. By understanding that having both a father and a mother makes a difference for children, many people will chose to form families in a way that would give that benefit to their children.

Effects on people with opposite-sex attraction

Many heterosexual people today make choices in their lives to bring children into the world outside of marriage, or they do not honor their marital vows after children are born. Changing the definition of marriage may be a continuation of this. There is less incentive to sacrifice to make marriage work, if marriage is just for the enjoyment of the two people involved, and less about providing children with a stable home headed by both genders.

Effects on people with same-sex attraction

Homosexual people who are in an opposite-sex marriage, may come to believe that in order to be true to themselves, they need to leave their spouse and find a same-sex spouse. While they should be free to do so if they so chose, they should not feel as if they are expected to do so. Often, their children lose their right to be raised by a mother and a father.

This is not an insignificant number of people. Homosexual men account for 3.0% of all divorced men and homosexual women account for 6.2% of all divorced women.[2] According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, "most children of same-sex couples are biological children of one of the parents". This does not include donor insemination[3], but for the most part are people who were in an opposite-sex relationship, but made changes in their life so that their children no longer had both a mother and a father. Dr. Gary Gates, research fellow at the Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law and an expert on census data involving gay and lesbian households, estimates that "only 6 percent of same-sex parents have an adopted child, and a sizable number appear to be living in some kind of step-family arrangement, in which parents come out later and have children from an earlier heterosexual marriage or relationship,"[4] The Family Pride Coalition estimates that 20% of gay men and 40% of lesbian women are currently in an opposite-sex marriage, and 50% of gay men and 75% of lesbians have ever had children with an opposite-sex partner.

Many of these families are wonderful families who are doing their best for their children. We include these statistics to show that this is not an isolated phenomenon. While the church teaches that children have a right to be raised by a father and a mother, the church also teaches that parents must love their children, be faithful to each other, teach their children to be kind and honest, and many other things. It would be a shame to judge a whole family based on one characteristic. However, that does not mean that the one characteristic has no value. We still believe that fathers are important, and bring a unique value that cannot be simply replaced by a second mother. Likewise, we believe that mothers are important, and bring a unique value that cannot be replaced by a second father. While we feel it is important to recognize the distinct values of fathers and mothers, there are obviously many people who are orphaned, raised by single parents, by same-sex parents, or even abusive parents who turn out to be wonderful human beings.

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Answer

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Preserving the definition of marriage recognizes the benefit that a union between a man and a woman has for society that a union between two men or two women cannot offer, particularly in child-raising. This recognition does not take away rights from other couples.

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