Question: How do Mormons believe that legislation regarding the definition of marriage may affect families?

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Questions

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How will legislation regarding the definition of marriage effect families?

To see citations to the critical sources for these claims, [[../CriticalSources|click here]]

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Legal definitions by themselves do not impose morality nor do they take away rights. They do show a need to make a distinction between two different concepts. They create a separate category, which is inherently unequal. We believe that a union between a man and a woman has a distinct benefit to society that a union between two men or two women cannot bring to society. We believe that by recognizing this value, we can promote environments where God's children will have the greatest likelihood to be raised by a father and mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Elder Oaks explains:

"We believe that we must contend for the kind of mortal families that provide the best conditions for the development and happiness of children—all children...

"There are many political, legal, and social pressures for changes that confuse gender, deemphasize the importance of marriage or change its definition, or homogenize the differences between men and women that are essential to accomplish God’s great plan of happiness.[1]

The legal definition does not impose morality or take away rights, but it does effect how things are discussed in official settings, taught in schools, and ultimately viewed in the public. While people are free to form their families in any way they choose, many are looking for the best way to form their families. By understanding that having both a father and a mother makes a difference for children, many people will chose to form families in a way that would give that benefit to their children.

This effects both homosexual and heterosexual people. Many heterosexual people today make choices in their lives to bring children into the world outside of marriage, or they do not honor their marital vows after children are born. Changing the definition of marriage may be a continuation of this. There is less incentive to sacrifice to make marriage work, if marriage is just for the enjoyment of the two people involved, and less about providing children with a stable home headed by both genders.

Homosexual people who are in an opposite-sex marriage, may come to believe that in order to be true to themselves, they need to leave their spouse and find a same-sex spouse. While they should be free to do so if they so chose, they should not feel as if they are expected to do so. Often, their children lose their right to be raised by a mother and a father.

This is not an insignificant number of people. Homosexual men account for 3.0% of all divorced men and homosexual women account for 6.2% of all divorced women.[2] According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, "most children of same-sex couples are biological children of one of the parents". This does not include donor insemination[3], but for the most part are people who were in an opposite-sex relationship, but made changes in their life so that their children no longer had both a mother and a father. Dr. Gary Gates, research fellow at the Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law and an expert on census data involving gay and lesbian households, estimates that "only 6 percent of same-sex parents have an adopted child, and a sizable number appear to be living in some kind of step-family arrangement, in which parents come out later and have children from an earlier heterosexual marriage or relationship,"[4] The Family Pride Coalition estimates that 20% of gay men and 40% of lesbian women are currently in an opposite-sex marriage, and 50% of gay men and 75% of lesbians have ever had children with an opposite-sex partner.

Many of these families are wonderful families who are doing their best for their children. We include these statistics to show that this is not an isolated phenomenon. While the church teaches that children have a right to be raised by a father and a mother, the church also teaches that parents must love their children, be faithful to each other, teach their children to be kind and honest, and many other things. It would be a shame to judge a whole family based on one characteristic. However, that does not mean that the one characteristic has no value. We still believe that fathers are important, and bring a unique value that cannot be simply replaced by a second mother. Likewise, we believe that mothers are important, and bring a unique value that cannot be replaced by a second father. While we feel it is important to recognize the distinct values of fathers and mothers, there are obviously many people who are orphaned, raised by single parents, by same-sex parents, or even abusive parents who turn out to be wonderful human beings.

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Answer

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Preserving the definition of marriage recognizes the benefit that a union between a man and a woman has for society that a union between two men or two women cannot offer, particularly in child-raising. This recognition does not take away rights from other couples.

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